Reasons most relationships fail?

We live in a generation where people get into relationships instantly and break up even faster. Then again they get into another relationship and it fails as well. The cycle goes on and on and ultimately everyone ends up being frustrated &used. Everyone regrets that they wasted their time. Such people blame love at the end. Before doing that, I want to ask them a question, — Were you really in love?

Sometimes it’s not love. It is attraction, infatuation or lust. Sometimes it is comfort or feeling of satisfaction of not being alone.

Everyone says Love hurts. But it isn’t true. Choosing wrong person hurts. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Loosing someone who actually loved you while you were busy in loving someone who didn’t; hurts. Wrong decision hurts. Envy hurts. Love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes one feel happy.

Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt. But only if you are in love with the right person.

According to me,

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is difficult.

When you fall in love with someone you ignore negative aspects of their personality.

When you fall in love, you feel that person is perfect. When you stop loving that person you realize, he wasn’t perfect. No one is.

Falling in love and being in love are two completely different things. Falling in love is something that happens instantly. But it takes tonnes of efforts and patience to stay in love.

Everyone wants a perfect partner. No one is ready to love the imperfections and to have a perfect relationship instead of a perfect partner.

Why? Everyone wants to show off!

My girlfriend is beautiful! My boyfriend is rich! ( Just an example!)

When I ask people what kind of partner they want, mostly the list contains points that they actually don’t want or need but they want that particular thing to be there in his partner just because they want to show off.

Honestly I believe,

A relationship lasts longer if no one knows about it. So try to keep it as private as you can.

Another thing which leads to breakup is lack of patience. After meeting so many people and after having so many betrayals I know one thing for sure. Most of the people DO NOT HAVE PATIENCE. Especially when it comes to relationships.

I really don’t understand how people expect to have a perfect relationship in 2/3/6 months or even within a year or two! It’s impossible, according to me!

Think about your best friend. Most of us have best friends who are our best friends from years. Are they perfect? Nope! Are you perfect? No! Is your friendship perfect? Yes! Why? Because you accepted him/her the way she/he is. You kept patience. You did not leave him/her after having fights or misunderstanding and they too didn’t leave you. Neither you nor they gave up upon each other.

Why can’t this happen in a relationship? We all know friendship is the base of a relationship. Then why do we all hurry?

If you think you’ve started liking someone, be friends first. Build a foundation. Be with them and analyse if you both are comfortable. If you both are like minded. It’s okay to have different perception but it shouldn’t be such that you always end up arguing. Examine behavior of that person and try to get a rough conclusion about whether you both can handle each other even in a worst situation.

Be mature. Do not have attitude of going with the flow. Do not date someone who is not good as you. List down your priorities. What do you genuinely want in your partner? What are the things you cannot compromise at any cost? If that person do not fulfill your list let him/her go. I know this is tough. But if you yourself know that the person is not as good as you and still if you lower your standards and be in a relationship with him/ her and if later on he/she breaks up with you you’ll end up regretting .

I know it is tough to let go someone for whom you have feelings. But before loving someone else loving yourself is important. You should always take care of yourself. You should always try to minimize the possibility of getting hurt.

Do not settle. do not compromise. Do not lower your standards just because you feel attracted towards someone. Please do not take literal meaning of this. I will give you an example for more clarity.

Suppose loyalty and kindness are my priorities. And I feel attracted towards a guy just because he is good looking and smart but I know he has stabbed many girls. Even after knowing this, if I still compromise with my priority of loyalty and approach him; I’m doing the biggest mistake of my life.

You have to adjust and compromise in every relationship to make it work and to make it last for long time. But you certainly should not adjust at the time of choosing your partner.

Priorities differ from person to person. For me, even an average looking guy is perfect if he is intelligent, ambitions, loyal, sweet and kind. Some people have good looks at number one position in their priority list. There is nothing wrong in that. Such people should avoid dating not so good looking people because at some point they’ll think that they deserve better and then they’ll leave that person.

Analyzing your priorities along with qualities of the person you are attracted to is very important. No one should feel superior. No one should feel they deserve better. When such feeling comes into anyone’s mind the relationship starts to collapse.

Trying to avoid hurting someone is as important as trying to avoid being hurt.

I know when we fall in love our mind stops working. But after that it starts working again right?

Feeling bad for a short time is better than shading tears for long time.

So be wise. Be practical.

A relationship is bound to be successful if the two people respect each other, if they feel they are perfect for each other and if they do not give up on each other.