Most important unsaid rules of relationships

As someone who has been hurt and mistreated in a past relationship, I learned a few things in life. And I vowed to never put myself in that position again.

• Know your boundaries- what are you willing to put up with? What are you willing to compromise on? And, what are the things that you will not put up with no matter the circumstances?

• Never go to bed angry- If you have to fight something out even in the wee hours, do so. Or compromise on it if it’s small, but don’t let it be something that festers for days.

• Find joy with each other – We find things that we like to do together. We laugh at ourselves. And, we don’t take things too seriously. We dance with each other in the kitchen. We make funny faces in pictures with each other. We play light hearted pranks on each other. Nothing mean spirited. And, we both laugh at our own mistakes and shortcomings. That one can be hard. But, it works wonders in a relationship.

•Cuddle- We hug each other and kiss one another constantly. This is before sex, after sex and in moments that will never lead to sex. We both value the reminders of friendship and compassion in the other person.

• Friendship outside the relationship- We have common interests that we do together. But, we have separate friendships. He likes to go duck hunting with his best friend. I like to go flea market and plant shopping with my friends. We both like to go out on the boat, motorcycle riding and cruising in our cars together. We spend time together, and we spend time apart.

• Trust- There has to be trust in the relationship. I have to know that he’s not going to go out & cheat on me. And, he’s got to know the same from me.

•Same outlook on Financials- For us, we are on the same page with our finances. We both like to save for what we want in life. Neither of us seek out status in our clothes, cars, etc. We live in a modest neighborhood. We drive nice cars, but they are not brand new. We both have higher taste in certain things. But, we save for them. We are also doing our best to save for the future.

This is just a handful of things that we practice. We both have gone through some rough patches in life. But, we know that it doesn’t have to always be like that. Even if we were not together, he is someone that I could be friends with. And that goes a long, long way.